A Spiritual Experience

An excerpt from my book "The Journey Home" -willingness to endure suffering for those we love.
Autobiography of an American Swami (Above, in the dome, an enormous painting
Set like a magnificent jewel, in the heart ofdepicted the miseries of hell and the glories of
Florence sits the Cathedral of Santa Maria delheaven and was crowned by the risen Lord
Fiore. Completed in 1367, the enormous dome andencircled by angels. While I gazed up at the holy
historical carvings attract throngs of tourists. Whilecrucifix, a passage I had memorized, the words
the bustling crowds snapped photographs on theof Jesus, spoke through my heart,"Seek ye first
steps outside, I sat alone in the pews of the innerthe Kingdom of God and all these things shall be
sanctuary. I had visited churches throughoutadded unto you...for where your treasure is, there
Europe and always felt at home in them. Now , inwill be your heart also".
the presence of the holy altar, I prayed forA chill tingled up my spine, my limbs trembled, my
spiritual direction. A stream of the faithful kneltcheeks quivered, and my head felt hollow and
down to pray as well. Aristocrats and peasantslight. Gripped by both shame and sorrow, I
alike fell to their knees in appeal before thesuddenly felt lost and alone, like an orphan. I
Almighty. I wondered what they were praying for.envisioned the pilgrims around me to be frozen
Were they begging the Lord for success in theirstill like the statues behind them. Those statues
endeavors or relief from misfortune? Were theyglowed; now they appeared to be breathing.
petitioning money, fame, vengeance? Or maybeThen, another biblical passage echoed in my mind:
they were begging for unconditional love. As for"Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the
me, I questioned my own motivations forkingdom of God. Blessed are the meek for they
travelling. Was I neglecting my responsibility toshall inherit the earth." In these words, I felt a
society by not getting a job? Was I trying toshower forgiveness that seemed to bathe me
escape it due to some inner weakness?with a new life. Emerging from the silence, a pipe
Feeling tiny, I looked up at the enormous stoneorgan filled the sanctuary with a song that lifted
arches and the towering walls. The sun shonemy heart beyond the peak of the dome. I felt so
through stained glass windows, illuminating thefree. The internal battle I fought in London was
massive octagonal dome and casting a veil of softover. I that confluence of indecision I once and
light on the marble saints. Touched by the sun andfor all chose the river that flowed toward my
surrounded by candles, the holy altar glowed.spiritual aspiration. I knew that I would never turn
There, an almost life-sized figure of the symbolback.
that true love and compassion brings with it a