| When you have a child with behavioral problems, | | | | According to James Lehman, the single biggest |
| it's only a matter of time before someone | | | | problem most troubled children have is that they |
| recommends you look into special schools for | | | | don't understand how to socialize with other |
| troubled kids. There are times these can be the | | | | people. The first and most critical social interaction |
| right choice, but more frequently, the parents | | | | they have is with their parents, then their families, |
| have other options that simply haven't been tried | | | | and then their neighbors and communities. When |
| yet. | | | | they aren't sure how to respond, they make |
| There are a large number of well-researched | | | | strange choices of how to behave, because |
| systems and programs designed to help parents | | | | nothing seems like a good choice. |
| deal with their difficult children without needing to | | | | It's worth noting that the community of children in |
| spend thousands on therapy sessions, or even | | | | these schools is not a normal community, and if |
| more on schools. For troubled kids, there are a lot | | | | your child is having difficulty with social |
| of reasons to look into other options before | | | | interactions, the other children are not going to be |
| leaning on a special facility. | | | | much help. As troubled children themselves, they |
| First and foremost, the way most of these | | | | are not going to respond the same way as |
| facilities work is to establish a structure that deals | | | | "normal" children , and the social skills developed in |
| effectively with misbehavior. Once the child leaves | | | | these schools may not translate to the world at |
| that structure, its effects are gone... and the | | | | large. |
| misbehavior is likely to return. A structured | | | | While schools for troubled kids have their place, it |
| environment can easily enforce rules, but when | | | | is worth the time and effort to use a system |
| that environment is removed, the rules are | | | | that instructs the parents and family as well as |
| frequently not followed. | | | | the child - so you can help your child learn these |
| Another important reason to use a more personal | | | | skills in the outside world, rather than just in a |
| method of dealing with your troubled child is that | | | | small artificial environment. |
| the child isn't the only one in need of instruction. | | | | It may not be as easy as signing your child into |
| The dynamic between parent and child is almost | | | | the care of a facility, but in the long run, it is |
| never exclusively one person's responsibility... and | | | | frequently more effective... and always a lot less |
| learning to build an effective dynamic with your | | | | expensive. |
| child isn't likely, when your child is rarely at home. | | | | |