| I lost my job in 2008 and our family has been in | | | | to find a way to balance this with support for |
| financial distress since then. My daughters' schools | | | | pupils in need. The part of the equation about |
| have been immensely supportive, offering 85 per | | | | your son's school which we don't know is how |
| cent and 65 per cent bursaries (they are aged 7 | | | | many other pupils they have agreed to support |
| and 16). However, my son's school has been | | | | through difficulty, as this will have had a major |
| lacking in any compassion at all. | | | | impact on the school's ability to support other |
| We have twice been turned down for a bursary | | | | deserving cases like your son's. |
| on the grounds that we have some equity | | | | Schools will often have to prioritise cases, and |
| remaining in our house. It appears not to matter | | | | then focus on pupils who are coming to the end |
| that we cannot increase our mortgage borrowing | | | | of their schooling, partly because of the impact to |
| because I am not working, nor that our current | | | | external exams, and because the commitment is |
| level of debt is at least as high as the amount of | | | | for a shorter time span. Some schools, though, |
| equity that would be released by any sale of our | | | | simply have more funds available, possibly from |
| home. | | | | endowments or through central trusts, than |
| We are faced with my son having to leave his | | | | others. |
| school at the end of this school year as we have | | | | Recognising this does not necessarily help you, |
| exhausted all possible avenues of borrowing to | | | | although if you can show some understanding of |
| cover his fees to date. He is immensely upset by | | | | the school's situation, you may encounter a more |
| this as he is desperate to stay at a school that | | | | receptive audience. Armed with your financial |
| he loves." | | | | audit, an assessment of likely employment |
| How can schools behave so differently? | | | | prospects and a really clear awareness of how |
| Anonymous | | | | much you can actually afford to pay each month |
| Dr Helen Wright replies: I really feel for you. This | | | | towards fees, approach your son's school one |
| is an incredibly difficult situation to be in, and it is, I | | | | more time. It is good to do this by letter, followed |
| am sure, extremely hard for you to maintain a | | | | up with a face-to-face interview with both the |
| reassuring composure. I'm sure that one of your | | | | bursar and the finance governor or chair of |
| prime concerns will be to find ways to tell him | | | | governors. |
| that regardless of which school he goes to, he is | | | | Restructure the fees |
| still a wonderful person and you love him deeply. | | | | Make it clear that you are actually exploring a |
| Focus on this - he needs you to keep reaffirming | | | | restructuring of fees over a longer period of time |
| him. | | | | - potentially, several years. With one of your |
| There are a few practical avenues you can | | | | daughters being aged 16, there will come a time |
| explore that might be worth pursuing. Your | | | | when you no longer need to pay fees for her. |
| daughters' schools have responded to your needs, | | | | Figure this into your accounting and explain when |
| which is tremendous, and you now know where | | | | you would be able to increase your payments. |
| you stand financially and how much exactly you | | | | Generally, schools are more able to accommodate |
| can afford to pay for your son's fees. | | | | a restructuring rather than a bursary or |
| Do a really ruthless financial audit (even if you | | | | permanent reduction, particularly if you are able to |
| have already done this, it might be worth | | | | give them some confidence in your ability to find |
| revisiting). Is there anything else that you could | | | | work again within a certain time span. |
| possibly get rid of, or any financial outgoings that | | | | This recession will pass and jobs will become |
| you could possibly reduce, in order to increase | | | | more readily available. In the meantime, if the |
| available funds? | | | | governors are aware of how well you are |
| Can family help? | | | | positioning yourself to be able to take up these |
| Think about this on a temporary basis. What you | | | | opportunities when they arise, they may be more |
| are looking for, after all, is only temporary relief | | | | prepared to take the risk in offering you a |
| until you are able to find employment again. Might | | | | payment plan. Believe in yourself in this respect, |
| there be some other routes which open up for | | | | and they are far more likely to be convinced. |
| additional funding - might any of your wider family | | | | All this is a gamble, I know, and I wish that I could |
| consider supporting your son for a time, even if | | | | offer more. It is, however, worth pursuing this |
| this is only on the basis of a loan? If you are able | | | | avenue if only to know that you have done |
| to secure some kind of backing, this will make the | | | | everything possible. If this does not succeed, and |
| school feel more secure. | | | | you are obliged to take your son away, then |
| Schools are in a tricky position when parents have | | | | know that if you can be positive about it all, then |
| difficulty paying the fees. While most schools will | | | | he will recover and will find his feet again. It may, |
| have a contingency bursary fund, they also need | | | | after, all, only be a temporary state of affairs. |
| to have a steady income in order to survive, and | | | | I really do hope that it all works out. |
| for the sake of the majority of pupils they have | | | | |