| My whole life was thrown in a lot of different | | | | took me a long time to really look at things and |
| directions when I started high school. I wanted the | | | | see how I contributed and why I wanted to be |
| acceptance, I wanted the perfect boyfriend and I | | | | someone I was not. I go through my struggles |
| wanted to fit in. I changed my entire life to fit the | | | | with my mom and dad, but my parents and I |
| mold of what I thought I should be like. I put on | | | | have pulled it together. I no longer hold things |
| the fake smile to look as if I was actually happy. I | | | | back from them. In fact, I am a lot more honest |
| entered the party world with the drugs and the | | | | with how I feel. |
| alcohol. I thought it was the thing to do. I shut out | | | | I still struggle with wanting to be accepted by |
| my parents and I shut out everyone who truly | | | | people but I have realized that not everyone is |
| cared about me. The only thing that truly | | | | going to like me. I have also learned what I do |
| mattered was being able to escape the hellish life | | | | and do not want in my space. I look at what I |
| I lived. | | | | want in relationships with friends and boyfriends. |
| I went to desperate measures when all I wanted | | | | My parents and I have become so close especially |
| to do was end it all and not have to wake up and | | | | since staffing Discovery with them. I had the |
| face the agony all over again. I used excuses to | | | | chance of a lifetime to share the love my family |
| why I should end my life. The only thing that kept | | | | has to offer with other people. To see people |
| me from it was the fact that I was scared. | | | | smile and cry and to touch peoples lives with our |
| Mostly I was scared of myself. | | | | life story was an awesome experience. Now as I |
| My parents knew something was wrong but I | | | | look back on where I was and where I am now, I |
| never would admit it to them because I did not | | | | can truly say I am happy with who I am. I never |
| believe there was anything wrong. I got so angry | | | | thought in my wildest dreams that my life would |
| with my parents that all I did was yell and scream | | | | come together or that my parents and I could |
| to be in control. My dad and I had no relationship | | | | get along together again. |
| because all I wanted to do was control | | | | I have had many people touch my life in so many |
| everything. I put my mom on the guilt trip and | | | | ways: the staff at Carolina Springs, my Family |
| told her that she was just trying to screw up my | | | | Rep, the students, and most of all the seminars. |
| life when she did not let me do what I wanted. | | | | All I can sayis that no matter how hard life gets, |
| I entered Carolina Springs Academy on October | | | | and no matter where the path may lead, thereis |
| 10, 2002. For a while I was indenial about why I | | | | always a better answer than leaving behind the |
| was here in the Program and that my life was | | | | people you love. Now I start anew journey with a |
| fine. I dramatizedmany things. Then when I made | | | | whole new book and a whole new outlook on life! |
| Upper Level, I saw what I wanted in my life. It | | | | |