Ending Loneliness in Retirement

Many people are hit with a sense of lonelinessConsider getting involved in a youth program at
they hadn't expected when they retire. For many,church. Look at neighborhood youngsters who
being alone overshadows many of the positivemight enjoy your companionship.
aspects of not working anymore.When asked about their retirement desires, the
Many people fail to realize the importance ofdesire for ongoing learning is often voiced by baby
connections in their working life. Before retiring,boomers. For some that can be a more academic
people often work for the same organization forsetting such as a junior college or adult school. For
twenty or thirty years. Even if they don't socializeothers, it's the opportunity to explore new
outside of the office, many feel a sense ofhobbies or increase expertise in a passion. Also,
kinship to their associates. A type of family boundjoining a local chapter for a hobby that's of
often occurs when people work together for ainterests can be a way of getting to know others.
long time.If you don't have a hobby, experiment with
Baby boomers are often facing retirementdifferent activities that you think you might want
without a spouse. More than other generationsto engage. Everyone can find something that is
before them, many baby boomers have neverinteresting. The trick is to be willing to explore and
married. A high divorce has also contributed toexperiment with different activities until you find a
many baby boomers retiring without a partner.good match.
Because it's unusual for a couple to retire at theAs previously mentioned, volunteering is a way to
same time, one person may face retirementconnect with other generations. Volunteering is
alone, while their spouse continues to work. Finally,also a way to meet others who share an interest
illness or lack of compatibility may leave a personor passion. New retirees are often frustrated
in a partnership that is unfulfilling.when they want to volunteer their time and find
Because baby boomers had more options thanthey are not welcomed with open arms. Research
former generations, they may not have children.different options, but be willing to try multiple
With a mobile society, children often live far away.activities if the first one doesn't work out.
Families can be busy with school andFinally, consider changing your home. Many people
extracurricular activities. The retired person canare committed to staying in their single family
often fold into the family activities, but rarely visahome. It's comfortable and often holds memories.
versa.The thought of packing up a home is often more
While many people enter retirement and arethan a person wants to contemplate. Moving into
shocked or disappointed by a sense of loneliness,an environment where there is a built in
there are many things you can do to connectcommunity may be a solution worth exploring. If
with others. Unfortunately, most will require initialyou have a difficult time reaching out to others,
effort on your part. For people who love to tagadult communities have built in activities. It's a
along and don't like to take initiative, this can be agreat place to form relationships and can be a
challenge. Set small goals and experiment withspringboard to a fulfilling retirement.
activities that will get you involved with others.Loneliness in retirement can be difficult. If not
First, form multi-generational relationships. If youaddressed early on it can turn to depression. If
only have friends with people who are your ownyou struggle with loneliness, know you are not the
age, it can be very disheartening as you get olderonly one who feels isolated. There are many
and they die. Forming relationships with people ofpeople in the world who want to connect with
different ages will keep you youthful and engaged.you. You have to be willing to take some initial
If you don't have young people in your life,steps.
consider volunteering as a big brother or sister.As a wise minister once said to me, "You can't
There may be opportunities to volunteer or workfind Mr. Right with your door locked and the
in schools. Preschools or libraries might enjoy ashades pulled down." Get out there, experiment
person coming in to read a book for story time.with different activities. You will find others.