| Your teenager's high school years should not be all | | | | with student government. If you're not sure your |
| about studying and making good grades. Granted, | | | | school has this program, just call the school office |
| this is important if your student is interested in | | | | to find out. |
| college and you know he will need some sort of | | | | *** Encourage your teen to go to dances, home |
| scholarship in order for you to afford it. | | | | games, movie nights, etc that are sponsored by |
| Extracurricular activities in high school are also | | | | your school |
| very important for your teen. From the time he | | | | Our high school has a homecoming dance each |
| is 13 or so, your son or daughter is learning how | | | | year. Our son was nominated for homecoming |
| to get along and socialize with other kids his age. | | | | "lord" for his class and won! He told me that it |
| He may learn these skills earlier and if he does, | | | | was an honor for him to be nominated and |
| more power to him. My point is this: if your | | | | chosen at the homecoming game. I agree with |
| freshman teen is not very social, now is the time | | | | him. He was put forward by other kids in his own |
| for him to learn. | | | | class; they even posted banners around the |
| There is nothing worse than being a great | | | | school telling other students to vote for him. It |
| student, but having no friends at all. No one to talk | | | | feels great as parents to know that your teen is |
| to or laugh with. Loneliness is a terrible thing to | | | | popular with the other kids. |
| experience during your high school years; I ought | | | | Your teen can also attend football, baseball or |
| to know since I went through it myself. | | | | basketball games, even if he is not on the team. |
| Don't let this happen to your teen. There are | | | | This shows school "spirit". Our teen son is simply |
| many things you can do to encourage appropriate | | | | interested in watching the game itself and seeing |
| social behavior in your teenager. Here are some | | | | other kids he knows play. But even if your teen |
| ways you can get your teen involved socially with | | | | isn't really interested in the game, he can socialize |
| his school and the community at large: | | | | with the other kids that he sees in the stands. If |
| *** Have him do volunteer work | | | | your high schooler wants you to go with him to a |
| Our local Catholic high school requires that | | | | game, do so if you can. At the same time, |
| students perform at least 25 hours of volunteer | | | | encourage him to meet other kids at the games, |
| community service work each year. They need | | | | so he is not always seen just around you. |
| 100 total hours of volunteer work to graduate. | | | | Movie nights are fun, even if your teen doesn't |
| Most students don't care to do volunteer work | | | | particularly want to watch the movie. At our high |
| unless it is very interesting. Last year, our son | | | | school, the kids bring a pillow or sleeping bag and |
| worked at the golf course and for the church, but | | | | sit on the floor. This is nice because they can |
| they mostly had to find him something to do. Half | | | | gather around each other in a circle and talk |
| the time he was standing around with nothing to | | | | throughout the film. |
| do. When there was work, it was boring. This | | | | *** As a parent, you can volunteer a few hours |
| year, he will volunteer for Habitat for Humanity. | | | | at your teenager's high school |
| Working for this organization will give him the | | | | Our local parochial high school requires that each |
| opportunity to learn something useful. If he finds it | | | | parent do at least five hours volunteer work per |
| interesting enough, he may even want to extend | | | | school year(20 hours in total) or pay $200. Most |
| his volunteer hours! This is the best result you can | | | | parents take the easy way out and pay the |
| hope for. | | | | $200. Unless you are extremely busy, try to do |
| Volunteer work gets your teen out into the | | | | something for your high school. An even better |
| community and helps him practice dealing with | | | | thing to do is to volunteer a few hours a week in |
| other adults besides his parents, teachers and | | | | the community, so you will set a good example |
| coaches. With volunteer work, he will learn how to | | | | for your teen. I volunteer four hours or so a |
| deal with his boss and how to get along with and | | | | week for our area hospital. |
| work beside his co-workers(if there are any). He | | | | *** Have your teen join any school clubs he likes |
| won't be paid, but at least he will get a taste of | | | | Most schools have a chess club, Spanish club, |
| what it is like to work for other people or | | | | French club, service club, math club, music club, |
| organizations. | | | | band, etc. Be sure you and your teen explore any |
| *** Encourage him to go out for at least one | | | | clubs or organizations the school has available and |
| sport | | | | see what they actually do and when they meet. |
| Make sure that he chooses the sport and knows | | | | Usually, teachers or counselors sponsor these |
| what is required to succeed. He doesn't have to | | | | clubs and provide oversight. Sometimes they get |
| be great at it but he does have to like the sport, | | | | to go on field trips or even journey to other |
| even if he only watches it on TV. Most high | | | | countries that speak the language they are |
| school sports programs don't "cut" participants, | | | | studying. This is an easy and painless way for |
| but let them stay on the team as long as they | | | | your teen to socialize with others and do things |
| are willing to come to all practices and try hard. | | | | he enjoys. |
| That's how it works at our high school. | | | | *** If you observe that your teen seems to |
| For example, our son knew little or nothing about | | | | enjoy the company of another student, |
| basketball, but tried out for the freshman team | | | | encourage him to invite his friend over to to your |
| last year. He went to all practices and showed a | | | | home. In our area, the easiest thing to do is have |
| willingness to work. He didn't get to play many | | | | them swim in the pool. Or if they have a |
| minutes, but he didn't get discouraged. He intends | | | | common interest(like golf), you can help them |
| to go out for JV basketball this year. According to | | | | meet at the golf course. Be sure to meet the |
| the basketball coach(who also coaches weight | | | | other kid's parents and be certain that your teen |
| training), our son is in much better shape and will | | | | is also invited over to his new friend's house. It's a |
| do much better at basketball this year. This is | | | | two way street; both sets of parents have to be |
| very encouraging for any parent to hear. | | | | willing to participate. |
| Also, your teen can play as many sports during | | | | Also, encourage your teen to have as many |
| the year as he wishes, just so the time spent in | | | | friends as possible. Don't limit him to just one or |
| practices and at games does not interfere with or | | | | two, especially if you are friends with the parents. |
| detract from his school work. Emphasize to your | | | | Think of it this way, when your teen makes a |
| sports-minded teen that studies come first and | | | | new friend, you might make two new friends |
| that he can play sports only if he keeps his | | | | when you meet the new friend's parents. |
| grades up. Our private high school requires a "B" | | | | Conclusions: |
| average in all courses in order to participate in or | | | | As you can see, there are many things your teen |
| continue to play a sport. | | | | can do that will give him the opportunity to talk to |
| Be sure you can go to at least some of his | | | | other kids his age without them having to be in |
| games, even the "away" games. Your teen will | | | | class together. Socializing in school helps prepare |
| never tell you this, but it is important to him that | | | | your high schooler for a normal social life as an |
| he sees you at his games. It's especially important | | | | adult. It doesn't matter what he participates in as |
| if he does well. He wants you to see him make a | | | | long as he does something. If you think you have |
| big play or help his team win. | | | | to push your teen a little, make sure you suggest |
| One thing: don't get over involved. Never yell at | | | | something that you think he will be interested in. |
| the referees or at your son or daughter. Just be | | | | Be willing to drive your teen anywhere he needs |
| there to watch the game. You can certainly cheer | | | | to go, as long as it has something to do with |
| if your teen makes a good play or his team wins, | | | | school or extracurricular activities. You have to |
| but keep it positive at all times. Don't try to live | | | | not only be willing but also able to drive. Don't be |
| through your teen or put pressure on him to do | | | | too busy for your teen, you'll pay for it later! It's |
| well. | | | | easy to opt out just by saying "I don't have the |
| *** See if he might be interested in student | | | | time to drive you". Anyone who has ever said |
| government | | | | that to me really does have the time, they just |
| Most secondary schools still have student | | | | don't want to do it! Don't cop out on your teen; |
| government for each class. Your teen can run for | | | | make the time! |
| president, vice president, secretary or treasurer. | | | | By the time your teen gets to be 16 and can |
| Tell him that holding such an office(or even | | | | drive by himself, you won't have to chauffeur him |
| running for it and losing) shows leadership qualities | | | | around nearly as much. But if you are not willing |
| to future employers or universities. Also, he will | | | | or able to drive him around from the ages of 13 |
| interact with other like-minded teens from his | | | | to 16, it will discourage him from socializing on his |
| own class. So if your high schooler is interested in | | | | own later. And that should be the last thing you |
| government, politics or civics, get him involved | | | | want to have happen. |